Don't let the door hit your Arse 2013....here...please....allow me to show you out!!!

Well...it's been quite a year!! As I sit here and think about saying goodbye to 2013 all I can say is don't let the door hit your arse on the way out!! I can't remember ever wanting a year to be over this much in my life.  Realistically I know nothing will change tomorrow and all the same issues will still be here but mentally I'm thinking of it as a new year, clean slate. I could sit here and dwell on the bad but I decided I wanted to remember only the good things about 2013 and yes, I have a choice of what to remember and what to feel.  I learned that very valuable lesson over Christmas. My favorite advice over the holidays that I kept thinking of a lot is "you will feel how you feel (good or bad), and no matter what people say you will still feel the way you feel. Enjoy it as much as you can..and if it's not working out the way you want it..then don't enjoy it as much as you can and take my trots advice . ..in other words, take the good with the bad ...a little cliche. ...it's the beauty of Life...another cliche". A few times when things got tough I went back and read this and even though it made me chuckle it really hit home to exactly how I was feeling and with what I needed to hear. I felt like it was ok to feel exactly what I felt, I didn't have to pretend to have one emotion or another. All would be ok.

On Christmas Eve I went to the gym with my friend Tracy where she gave me two gifts that made me cry ( a mug with happy pictures of Team Purple on it and two rings, one saying courage and the other saying strength...) I felt really loved at that very moment. Then I rushed off to spend some time with my best friend Cheryl and her kids. Cheryl and I sat back and enjoyed a glass of wine and chatted for a bit.  It was really nice.  When I got back to the apartment I watched my first Rocky movie while I feasted on Chinese food.  A few things I've heard over the last 2.5 months finally made sense to me! :) Thankfully I was up until 2AM talking with friends who were checking in on me, making sure I was doing ok.  I was able to go to bed and not really think much about what night it was, I may have been pushing it out of my head or I was just exhausted, not sure which. :)  Christmas morning I woke up thinking, ugh, ok...lets do this.  Something I'm sure I've muttered on at least one of my crazy fitness outings but this time was different. I enjoy my outings, I wasn't so sure about this. I made my way out of bed, fed the kitties and thought for a second, hmm...what can I do to make this different. I grabbed my best friend Raya's gift and a gift I bought myself and crawled on the bed and opened them there. Raya gave me two very special pins, one especially as it was of a train with a verse on it.  This was significant as she is always telling me I'm the little engine that could.  Anyone who knows me knows what I did at this point, I cried like a baby.  After getting a grip I made my way to the living room and the kitties and I opened the rest of the gifts.  After a quick shower and a shout out to everyone on facebook so everyone knew I was a live I was off to Catherine and Joe's.  These are just two of the great people who opened their homes to me on this day.  Thank you to Catherine and Joe, Sue, Lynn, Cheryl and Kat who all offered to have me join them at different points either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  I will be forever thankful and although I didn't make it to your houses the offers meant the world to me. Christmas Day was very nice and I enjoyed myself.  I had my first gluten free Christmas Day Brunch and Christmas Dinner and you know what, I couldn't tell a difference in the taste. Another aspect of being at Catherine's was pretty great too but we'll leave that for another blog sometime.  Let's just say I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor as Catherine's laughing and saying she forgot to mention something to me. :) Anyway...as we moved into the living room she said it was time for stockings to be opened and I was relieved that I could finally watch a normal aspect of Christmas. To my surprise she handed me my own stocking and a gift as well.  Wow...I didn't know what to say.  I spent the afternoon getting to hang out with her and Joe, her brother, her dad and his female friend.  These guys are all awesome and made me feel super welcome. Supper was really tasty. I had two glasses of wine and Joe offered me a third but I think that could have put me over the edge.  I had nobody to drive me home so it was coke for the rest of the night. We soon made our way downstairs to play WII Sports and the Dance 2014.  I was totally being crazy but you know what....I was having an awesome time.  Something I didn't think I'd be able to say about any of the holidays.  I will remember this Christmas forever!! I got back to the apartment later that night and just sort of chilled out a bit before going to bed.  I realized something, I made it through what I was planning to be perhaps the third hardest day of my life. 

In the weeks leading up to the big day I was having a hard time knowing I would be having Christmas alone but I made it through. I don't know if I was all cried out in the weeks leading up to Christmas, or if because I had some drama in the days prior to Christmas maybe I was just ready to get it done and over (which makes me sad all on its own). Either way I was expecting to finally have some sort of mental/emotional breakdown but I didn't, thankfully. 

I realized something very important over the holidays.  I learned the power in friendship is more important than any gift that could be under any tree. I already knew that I guess but actually feeling it was magical. I learned that being surrounded by the people who are your friends, who really want the best for you, and who truly care has no comparison to anything else I've ever felt on Christmas Day (even more than the happiness I felt with the Daughtry tickets I got last year for a gift, now THAT'S saying something..lol). It's too hard to reach out to every one of you and I don't want anyone to feel left out so I want to say thank you to each and every one of you who helped and supporteded me, offered suggestions, a shoulder to cry on, a laugh, a suck it up message, a smile and laugh and everything else. I truly couldn't have made it through this Christmas without you guys.  I will always remember this Christmas as being bitter sweet....some sadness but many happy thoughts as well. 

Ok, so it's one hour and 4 mins left until 2014 and I want to remind myself what 2014 is going to bring to me. This year will have my HUGEST (is that even a word?) fitness challenge yet.  I will be joining my great friend Chris and Sandra on a bike tour across a tiny bit of Canada and then into the US and the plan is for Chris and I to race up Mount Washington. This will be by far the biggest, scariest, toughest, most exciting, most taxing thing I've ever done. I'd lie if I said I wasn't nervous but I'm as excited as hell about this.  Not only will I be with a great group of peeps(Catherine and Tracy are thinking of joining us by car...Team Purple WILL be together baby!!) but I will see my mountains for 6-10 hours a day, I will be lost in my thoughts for the most part I'm sure, but in a way I'm hoping it's a peaceful emotional/mental clense for me too. I have never been alone with my thoughts for that long. To say I'm excited is an understatement!!  My other big goal is to finally get my certification as a Weight Resistance Trainer and Personal Trainer.  It seems like every year I say this and something comes up and gets in the way. This year will be differnt, no excuses, no obstacles, I HAVE to get this, it's NOT an option!!!  Other than these two main goals I'm not really sure what 2014 has in store for me.  I know I want to spend some time figuring out who I really am. I am so used to being lumped with someone that it's time I figure out myself, as Chris says, go back to my roots.  I need to figure out what is going to make me happy as I have nobody to answer to right now.  Who knows when that may change so I should take advantage of the opportuninty while I can.  

My first goal of the new year comes tomorrow morning at 10AM when I will gather on Lawrencetown beach for a frosty, freaking freezing dip in the Ocean.  It's in the back of my mind what could happen as I really don't know how my body will react to this but I have never met a challenge I didn't take.  I will have enough people on the beach to help me God forbid anything happens, although I don't expect any type of mishaps.  And Chris has been asked to say a few nice things about me shall they be needed, while wearing purple. :) I can't promise I won't yell, curse and swear and maybe even cry a little as I let go of 2013, and watch it float out to sea.  But I can say I will be smiling as Tracy and the girls hopefully cover me in blankets and hugs when I get back on the beach and truly welcome 2014!!

Thank you to everyone who has supported me during the toughest time in my life.  I can only hope 2014 brings me more happy times, great memories and experiences that will be with me for a lifetime. Some of you who went and continue to go the distance for me, I truly appreciate everything you are doing.  Chris, you have become a great FRIEND, as voiced before you have taught me how to laugh, smile, have fun and live again and words will never be able to express how greatful I am.  You are truly a great FRIEND, please don't ever change!! 

Here's to 2014....

21 Cold Climbs....

Yesterday a group of us (6) headed to Jacob's Ladder to do some stair climbing.  It was pretty cold but nothing like I expected.  There wasn't a windchill or we were just sheltered, I'm not 100% sure which. Tracy and I got there a bit early and went to explore the stairs (and I had tons of excited energy I had to use up before the rest of the group got there, I think at some points I was even skipping back to the stairs) and I have to admit that at first glance I wasn't sure it was going to be possible. They looked pretty slippery. When we got together we made it a group decision to go for it, just to be really careful.

With that being said the climb began. We all climbed at a different pace except for Chris and I who stuck together as we are training and pushing each other towards a bigger, specific goal. One trip up was taken slower as Cleo wanted to join us and Chris had to carry her as I think she was afraid of the height. However he did not carry her down as the risk for falling was too great.  She went down the trail with Nikki and played for about 2 hours on her own.

For me some of this climb was tough.  Chris mentioned to me the night before about having to pace ourselves as the cold air could really play havic with our lungs. I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not but it didn't take me long to see he was.  I think I had troubles on the first bunch of trips up and I was pretty good at hiding it for a bit. Because I couldn't breathe properly and get enough air I started to become a bit lightheaded.  I pushed on though.  At one point I remember asking Chris if he would rather me puke or cry....I think he suggested puking but said both would be ok.  Little did he know my question about puking was serious. lol  I really thought it was a possibility!  I don't think I have ever been that close before. When we got to the bottom he had me drink some of his pop and asked if I was ok. I said I was just a bit lightheaded and he said he noticed I wasn't totally steady on my feet.  We waited a few minutes and went again. He said I had to take this one slow and although I heard him I started at my normal pace.  He reminded me to slow down and this time I listened.  The last thing I wanted to do was puke or worse, pass out.  After a few slower trips my breathing became more stable and I was in the "zone" again.  Unlike last time we didn't have as many rest breaks, and to my pleasant surprise Chris actually ran a portion of the stairs a few times (VERY PROUD of you Chris)!!! .  Of course my determined nature said if he can run them then so can I. I do remember yelling at him once that he was killing me but no way would I stop as I was loving the challenge.  Don't get me wrong, we didn't run the whole trip up but doing them as many times as we did, and being as steep as they are any running is quite a challenge.  We also had a few points where we weren't smart and raced each other down.  NO WAY was I letting Chris pass me, even if it meant grabbing him and holding him back or jumping a few of the stairs to land on the bottom, unfortunately it didn't take him long to catch on to that so he did it a few times too. lol Luckily neither of us slipped while doing this, as it really was an unnecessary risk, although it was fun and we had some laughs.

I believe Tracy climbed 6-8 times before she decided to call it quits and the other Chris who went along did I believe 4-5 trips up and down. These guys headed to the car to warm up as they knew Chris and I would still be a while.  Tracy was even kind enough to walk back and get the dark chocolate almonds I bought for us as fuel.  God love her!! When she came back it was decided that she would do a set with us before returning to the car as we always do the last set together as "Team Purple". We go up together, wait for each other and put our foot on the last step together at the bottom. Something that really is kinda neat. We huddled together and took a few pics and then she was off to the car, she even had the car nice and warm for me when I got back.  

Chris and I still had about 6 more trips to go.  Honestly, at this point we didn't really push hard.  We were the only two there so we took our time, chatted quite a bit and just enjoyed what we were doing. I STRONGLY suggested the date we do it next month be the 12th.  I think he was a bit surprised that I'd want to do this on my birthday but I said absolutely.  What better thing to do on my birthday than spend the afternoon with great friends doing something I truly enjoy.  He said ok, Jan.12th it is! :)  So if anyone wants to join us it looks like that's the next time we'll be in Truro, weather pending but I will start talking to the weather Gods now. So far they haven't really let me down. lol

As soon as we completed our last step we heard...daaaaaddddddddyyyyyyyyy...Cleo was just coming down the path!  Funny how perfect her timing was.  Chris ran to her and then came back and did the high 5's with me and taught me a new celebratory move. :)  We were finished our goal, 21 trips up Jacob's Ladder and the ice crystals that formed on Chris's eye lashes, my tough breathing and some ginger ale slushy were really the only issues we encountered.  On the grand scheme of things these were not real issues, nobody suffered frostbite, nobody fell and no medical attention was needed. That's all that counts!!  After returning to the car we were off to Murphy's for a much deserved lunch!

I'm really happy to mention that Tracy seems to be ok with her recovery, better than last month.  Chris and I seem to be doing much better in recovery also. We are both moving/walking normally for the most part.  We both have some pain in our legs but NOTHING like last time.  Chris was pretty much off his feet for 5-6 days (well...had great difficulty walking/moving at least) and I wasn't far behind with 4-5 days needed to recover myself. I say by Tuesday we should be full of piss and vinegar and ready to do it again!  Bring on 22 times!!!!

10km run - success

I haven't been able to run since May, when I ran 5k in the Bluenose Marathon.  That was a frustrating run for me as I was injured before and when I did it, therefore unable to train properly.  As I finished I wasn't sure running would be something I'd ever be able to do again.  I could see my goal of becoming a future fast chick going down the drain (5k in 25 mins).  I've often thought about trying to run again but my "fitness guru" so no running until the Spring to give my body the proper time to heal.  After doing a bit of light training with my friend Tracy for her run/walk race last month I got the running bug back again.  It was something I toyed with but wasn't sure I was going to act on it. 

To my surprise my friend Chris - who hates running- suggested we try a run on a weekend.  Ok, I may have twisted his rubber arm a little as he is hoping to drop a few pounds and I suggested this may be a great way to do it.  I suggested a 5k run but Chris being Chris decided we should do a 10km run instead so there would be more of a challenge.  Of course me being me I wasn't backing down from a challenge.  I wasn't sure it was the smartest challenge to partake in as I know how hard running can be but nonetheless we were going to do it, and we would survive. 

Chris mapped out a nice route for our first 10km.  It was flat and on a gravel path.  So yesterday we set out to check another goal off our "to do" list.  The weather was a bit chilly but thankfully the rain/snow held off.  We were pretty sheltered from the wind as it was a treed trail.  It actually was a very nice trail with a lake along the way.  Being an ex-coke drinker, very heavy coke drinker, it was kind of ironic it started right by the coke plant. :)

So, it's about 11:15am and we head off for our much anticipated 10km run.  I was shocked at Chris's pace and actually suggested he slow down a bit, both to save some of his energy and so he wouldn't kill me but he said it was as slow as he could go, any slower and it hurt more so I did my best to adjust my pace. Again, doing something I'm not used to, he ran beside me the whole time, well...except when he wanted to sprint as then he blew me away.  Kind of reminded me of any of the bike rides I've taken with him when we come to a hill. lol Someday I will be faster than him at something...not sure what yet...but I'll find something. lol  It was really nice though as I've never run "beside" someone before.

We pretty much did a combination of run and walk.  Chris was hoping to run the whole time but it just wasn't in our favor on this day.  Not a big deal though, it will come. Each time we run we'll build up more time and distance and before you know it we'll be killing 10km's.  God, then I can see 21km's in our future!! :)  As I mentioned we did some sprinting as well.  We'd pick a sign or a gate and run as fast as we could to it, hence the word sprint.  I have to admit I was going as fast as my poor legs would take me and it was the first time that I felt like perhaps my hips and the arthritis were holding me back a little. I had no pain but they just didn't feel as flexible as they should be.  Or perhaps my mind was just over-thinking what my body could do. Either way, it felt great to be running as fast as I could possibly go.  A feeling I haven't had in a long time.  I could almost imagine the people at each sign/gate cheering us on like we were crossing a finish line of a race.  Oh, how I miss those days!! We agreed that the last little bit of the 10km would be spent running, in fact we decided sprinting or "seeing the devil" would be a good way to finish.  Chris being the kindhearted gentleman that he is decided he'd give me a head start so I could stand a chance of beating him.  Even with the head start I had to grab his jacket and pull him back a bit in order to pass but I think he still beat me in the end.  Nah...I let him win, yeah, that's it, I let him win!!That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!  lol 

Happily I report that with a minor groin pull for Chris and some quad soreness for me yesterday we were both in very good spirits after our run.  My goal time was between 1:30 and 1:45 and we finished in 1:39.....making me a very happy camper!! And after chowing down on some grub we were able to squeeze in a 5km (ish) walk afterwards as well.  Today neither of us have any soreness issues, at least nothing that will take us out of commission for 5 days like Jacob's Ladder did. I'm hoping we can make running a part of our normal training although I feel it may take some twisting of Chris's rubber arm for this to happen. I won't force the issue as I know what it's like to partake in something you really don't enjoy....it's torturous!! I am hoping he'll at least consider it though.  I am hoping that he will do the Santa Shuffle with us in Dec. and it would be great if he'd take part in the run on my birthday in Point Pleasant Park.  I guess time will tell!  I am really excited to feel that I can make running a part of my training again.  It is something I'm going to try to work into my schedule on the weekend's even though I will be nervous to do it alone outside.  I'm also planning to keep it as part of my workout at the gym too.  For everyone who worried about us, who thought we shouldn't do a 10km I say thanks for your support and concern but most of all thanks for caring!! 

ps - for those who don't know...my blog title Future Fast Chick was made up because Paul gave me a time frame to reach as a female runner saying if I could get a 5k done in 25mins then I'd be a fast chick.  My dream is to reach this goal so I can have him call me that...even if just once!! :)

Am I really CRAZY?

So, I've had lots of time to think about this and yes, I probably am crazy but in a good way.

I have been doing a lot of things over the last few weeks, some of which would make people think I've totally lost my mind, and may indeed be....crazy!  I'm thinking of my 100km bike ride goal.  A few people said why would anyone just go out and ride 100km on a bike, the end of Oct for no reason. See, that's where I differ from those people.  For me being on the bike was pushing myself to a new limit that I have never reached before.  It was learning how my body would adapt to such an extreme new event and it was learning exactly what I am capable of doing when I push myself.  Did I find it easy, hell no, was there a time when I wanted to give up, yup and I remember it clearly.  I was alone, struggling to get up a hill with the wind on me the whole time. Probably cursing my friend as he made it look like the hill was a piece of cake for him, did I want to stop, yeah a part of me probably wanted to but you know what, I dug deep and I found it in myself to push on.  I was the only person who could make the ride a success, not the person riding with me (although he was a great support), not the people who were waiting for my results on facebook, ME...and only me. After I was "forced" to take a short break I was all good to go again.  A person has to dig deep sometimes and when they do they'll find a strength they never knew they had. I'm learning a lot about that as of late. It's easy to say you want to do something but sometimes you just have to go out there and do it.  It may not turn out quite the way you planned or it may turn out even better than you thought possible.  You will never know until you try. When I set my 100km goal last Nov-after doing my first 50km I NEVER expected it to happen the way it did, but I wouldn't change any of it.  The scenery was awesome (I really have to find out the name of that area by the water that I like so much) the company was good and the excitement and the power I felt race through my body as I pushed for that little black car was AMAZING!!!!  Nothing failed me, my thoughts stayed strong for the most part, my knee stayed in good shape, my hips didn't let me down and my butt didn't even hurt too much (that came about 4 hours later however after a few days I could pee normal again..lol). Most of all, I didn't let myself down, I had a goal and I accomplished and it felt damn good!!!
My latest crazy goal was Jacob's Ladder.  Ok, I must admit even I think that was a little crazy. lol It's something that I wanted to do, my friends wanted to do, so we did it. I think I said many times "this beats sitting home on our asses all day doing nothing".  At first they agreed, but I think as the stairs got longer and harder they were no longer feeling my "excitement and maybe even cursing me a little". Although I wasn't quite ready to be out of commission for pretty much 5 days afterwards it was a price I paid and guess what, I'm going to pay it again, as we climb it 21 times on Dec.14th, and in Jan. 22 times and so on until our bike race up Mount Washington in August.  I love finding out how much my body can handle.  I joke about pain being temporary and for the most part it is, we were sore for a few days and after the pain went away it was decided this was going to be part of our normal training for the race. While doing these steps I talked to a 52 year old woman who has biked in parts of the world I can only dream of , we met a family of 4 who told Chris and I we were awesome, and very motivational, and even waited to cheer us on as we completed our goal.  How many people can say they've experienced that feeling....hearing those comments from friends is more than special but to hear them from complete strangers....wow, it's just over the top!! :)  And you can't hear that sitting at home all day flipping through the tv channels. Jacob's Ladder 20 times wasn't really a goal for me but once the challenge presented itself there was no way in hell I was backing down. The same as doing it again every month until Aug.  I'm thinking the number of recovery days will subside the more we do the stairs training as we'll be stronger and our body won't be quite as shocked.
Doing these types of things is a great stress release, it's exciting for me, I spend a lot of time thinking about different things in life, like where I'm headed, exactly how I'm feeling overall, what's next for me, etc. I  also like to keep myself challenged and sometimes it's nice to do it outside the four walls of a gym. It's even more exciting that I have a few friends who are just as crazy and interested in doing the same things I am.  Other people who share my passion, wow!
On the weekend I will be running my first 10km run in well over a year.  I haven't run much since last May and I'm really looking forward to it. Unless of course the weather warms up and then we may end up doing a 125km bike ride instead. Hey, it was going to be 160km but there aren't enough daylight hours to complete it. The running will be a challenge for me.  Chris remembered that I'm not supposed to be running until the Spring (and he even threatened to report me to Paul....hey, how does he know already that the only person I REALLY listen to is Paul..lol) but I said I wanted to try it and see if I could do it.  I'm reasonably sure I won't have any issues with my knee, or heal and if I do, guess what...we'll stop and enjoy the rest of the trail as a nice walk instead.  I would have to be really hurting for that to happen but if it does then I will.  I have a projected time to finish the 10km in about 1:45, which would make me happy, but 1:30 would knock my socks off ( I haven't run since May and even then I was running injured and I'm not sure of my partner in crime's run stats)!! Chances are I will time it just out of curiosity as the time means nothing really.
I've already decided on some crazy fitness goals for next year the big one being our bike race up Mount Washington, which is what this training is all about.  I've also been asked/and agreed to do some training rides with Craig's Cause and right now I'm trying to figure out if I should do a "cross country/some of the US bike tour with Chris and a few of his entourage. I want to do this because not many people can say they've traveled some of the world on a bike,I want to know I can be serious enough to do the needed training, because I want to know my body can do it, and I want to know my mind is strong enough to push through whatever crap comes my way.  The only think making me second guess it is these guys are hard core, they've traveled together before and obviously gel well and I don't want to be a hindrance to them. I will have to talk it over more with the lead cyclist and see if he thinks it's something I could accomplish with them.  I have to decide soon too as I'd have to start buying the stuff needed and prepping my bike for a 10 day excursion.  Just imagine....seeing some of the world on a bike, cycling through the Mountains (there are NO words to describe what that would mean to me!) and perhaps even seeing my first moose, just not charging at me! Which reminds me there's a video I need to ask about....lol
Please don't spend your timing wishing you could get out there and do some of these things.  I spent 35 years of my life doing that.  Yes, I agree things seemed much easier back then, at  243 pounds sitting on my ass was easy, it was about all I could do.  I look back now and become incredibly sad at all the things I missed out on .I should have been doing these things in my twenties, not at 38 years old. I'm trying to make up for lost time now and I want/plan to be doing this until I'm too old to move. Then it will be time to sit....and only then.  You don't have to go to the extreme that I do, but I'm sure everyone has something they want to accomplish but may be afraid for one reason or another to do it. Why be afraid, if you fail just do it again, eventually you'll get it right. Don't hold yourself back, it's much more fun being crazy, at whatever level that is for you.
Anyway...those are my crazy antics as of late and why I do them.  I guess after writing this all down I've come to the conclusion that for my "team purple" we should come up with a new word besides crazy but deep down in I know that's what I am, I have been that for 3.5 years and I think I will always see myself as just that....crazy! 

Jacob's Ladder - 7040 steps, done!!

 

Another goal has not only been reached but this time it was blown out of the water!! Jacob's Ladder 20 times, baby!!

As you may have seen  on facebook I have decided to bike up Mount Washington in a race next summer with Chris. The summer may seem like a long time a way but in terms of training it really isn't.  Hence training should start as soon as possible.  Chris and I were sharing some training ideas and I suggested doing Jacob's Ladder in Truro. It didn't take much "twisting of his rubber arm" as he pretty much said he was" in "right away. As we talked about it more I mentioned we should aim to do it 5 times, he suggested 10. I told him my record was 13 and it almost killed me. Being macho, manly or just plain crazy Chris suggested that 20 was a nice round number, we should do it 20 times. To his defence he did ask if we'd be walking or running them and I said walking.  I can only assume that he didn't think walking them would be a big deal.  I think I told him he was crazy but he set the goal so we HAD to do Jacob's Ladder 20 times. There was no backing out now!! :)   Upon hearing about this crazy event my friend Tracy wanted to come along too.  I am really excited that she is starting to show passion in the same crazy things as myself. On Thursday I confirmed that we were still on and yes, everything was a go.  I posted on Friday how many steps we would be doing and I think at least partial reality hit Chris, his reply to climbing 7040 stairs was "how many? Say what now? My God!" Sorry, but this reply still makes me giggle, even now.  This poor guy had NO idea what he was in for!! We were set, Tracy agreed to do it 3 times even though I was pushing her for 5 times (she's not as crazy as me yet), her mom was sweet enough to come along to be our "official photographer" and cheer us on and Chris and I were going to do it 20 times.

Saturday morning was kind of cold and windy but I hoped we'd be sheltered once we got to the stairs. Thankfully for the most part we were.  The odd time we had a gust of wind that was cold but in my experience it was better to be a bit chilly than super hot.  Chris later informed me that he can handle heat better than the cold.  When we got there Chris and Tracy said the same thing, where the hell is the top? I assured them it was up there...waaaaaayyyyy up there. lol Before we started we had to get a group photo in front of the Jacob's Ladder sign just as proof we were at least there. Notice in this picture we are full of smiles and energy!! :)

Right after this photo was taken we were off to start our climb.  The first few climbs were hard.  We just had to get in the frame of mind, if that even exists in something like this. After the initial shock of what we were about to do we buckled down and got serious.  We took the stairs at a good pace, I allowed Chris and Tracy to hold on to the railings going down as the stairs are pretty steep but they weren't to hold on to the railings going up. They had to go up under their own steam, totally. From what I could see both obliged my rules. lol We kept it a pretty light hearted event, with some yelling, singing (yes, the spirit of Paul Plakas was certainly alive and well on Jacob's Ladder on Sat!lol) and even some words that were spoken behind my back.  When asked what they were saying about me they had no fear yelling out that I was crazy (well....that's a cleaned up version of what was said)!!  My reply was if you have the energy to be talking, singing and saying things about me then you weren't climbing hard enough. Gee, who does that sound like? lol

I can't lie the climb was tough.  That's A LOT of steps for anyone, regardless of their fitness level. Tracy and her mom were very good at advertising that we were doing it 20 times so we had some well wishes along the way and I'm sure some who thought we were seriously crazy.  Yup, there's that word again....crazy! We got to climb #14 (breaking my record) and I asked Chris if we should be content with this number or go all the way. His reply was that we should push on for 20. At some point Tracy and her mom left us to go and take pictures of the waterfalls and came back again.  At this point we were getting close to being finished.  I think we had 5 more climbs left.  This is the time when we needed the encouragement the most.  We met up with a family of 4 who I guess were there when we first started and decided to tell us how proud they were of us, and stayed at the bottom of the stairs to see us finish. That felt amazing and it was just the boost of encouragement we needed. I also think Chris and I fed off that and each others encouragement from this point on. I now knew we were going to make 20 climbs!!

As we were getting ready to go down from our 19th climb I could feel the emotions kicking in.  Holy crap, we were going to do this.  Again, another huge goal accomplished and we were still alive to talk about it. When we got to the bottom of our 19th climb Tracy surprised us saying she was going to do the 20th climb with us.  Wow...what an amazing way to finish such a huge accomplishment for the 3 of us. At the top I just stood there thinking how lucky I was to have two wonderful people who gave up their Sat. afternoon to do this with me.  I'm sure there were many things they could have (and maybe would have rather have been) doing but they were there to do this instead.  It was a goal for both of them and it was so awesome that we were all doing it together.  As Tracy put it many times....Team Purple all the way!! We agreed that we need shirts that say We Survived Jacob's Ladder!! I gave them a heads up to be VERY careful going down as we were going on adrenelin right now and it was a time when injury was very possible due to the excitement.  We started back down and got about half way and our cheering section started cheering us on.  We agreed that we'd touch the last step together and that is exactly what we did. We stopped and all put our foot on the last step at the same time.  What a truly amazing finish!!!! After high fives from our cheering sections and hearing how inspiring we were (and answering some questions from a little guy about our planned bike ride up Mount Washington) we decided we needed to get some group photos. This other couple offered to take some photos for us so Tracy's mom could be part of the group photo too.  I thougth that was very nice! It shows there are still some nice people out there!!  We took a few other photos before we hobbled back to our cars and headed for a much deserved feed of fish and chips. I think at that point we were a bit sore but nothing like we are today.  I can't tell you how proud I am of both Chris and Tracy. They pushed hard and gave their 100% effort the entire time. Never once was giving up even an option for either of them. Today the three of us can hardly walk, have issues ranging from pain basically from our arse to our toes and all points in between.  I think we all realize that it's a "good pain" though, and yes there is such thing as "good pain". I think we can all agree that we WILL do this again, I think I even seen Chris mention 21 times when we go next. I know I can't imagine any better "partners in crime" and I look forward to doing this challenge and many others with these guys.  A great day for sure!! 

TEAM PURPLE ALL THE WAY!!

100km goal....complete

Wow, two blogs in one week, I'm on a roll! Lol  I've had some time to sit and think about my 100km bike ride yesterday so now I'm going to try to put into words how it went. 
100km bike ride is nothing to be taken lightly.  It's a LONG time to be on a bike and once you start it there is really nothing you can do but finish it for the most part. I was pretty hyped up about it for most of the week and I promised myself I would have a few minutes just to relax before I got picked up at the park to head to Lawrencetown Beach.  I was waiting at Dewolf Park in Bedford overlooking the Bedford Basin and what a beautiful morning!!  Not a cloud in the sky, a bit windy but not too bad and crisp but not freezing cold.  I stood out on the rocks for a bit just taking in the beauty and going over in my head what exactly I was about to do. I would say I haven't been this excited in a long time but that would be wrong as I seem to be excited for all my weekend excursions lately. This excitement was just different.  Not only was I about to hurt but I was about to accomplish another goal, something I didn't see happening any time soon. I was a pretty happy camper. :)  I did find it odd that a few people walking by told me "not to jump" that I had so much to live for or that it was too cold to jump/swim. Did I look that scared for what was coming my way, seriously? lol Not long after I arrived Chris did too and we were off on this new journey. Thankfully Chris likes to talk so I didn't have time on the car ride over to be nervous or even to think about it. :)
We arrived at Lawrencetown Beach and holy crap, it was chilly AND WINDY!  Chris assured me we'd be ok for the first half but the last half was going to be really tough as we'd have the wind right on us.  We did the normal checks and before I knew it we were off, for a freaking 100km ride!  I still couldn't believe it.  I was actually going to do this!!!
The first part of the ride was on a road I am familiar with, and actually have come to love. I have fallen in love with biking by the water.  Just something so peaceful, pretty, breathtaking, and the air just smells different, clean, fresh....just different in a great way.  It's like I just want to breathe in as much of it as I possilby can. The last few weeks I keep thinking I hope this isn't the last time I get out here but with each trip I know the winter is coming and sadly we can't bike forever.  Chris did say he'd keep picking routes into Nov as long as the weather holds up and it doesn't get too cold (even suggesting another 50 or 100km).  This road is nice too because we get to ride side by side for the most part, until we come to a hill and he blows past me, that is. lol  That's nicer than having to bike one behind the other for the whole way that's for sure.  I tried to pace myself as I knew I had a LONG way to go and didn't want to tire myself out right from the start.  We did really well and before we knew it we were on the #7 highway ( I think Chris said), which was much busier with traffic but only one car gave us a nasty horn honk and I think I even called him/her a few choice names as they had plenty of room to go around us. Most cars in the country, at least out that way have been pretty good about giving us our space. We drove single file for a while, sharing the drafting duties but I have to say, I haven't quite mastered that yet as Chris is faster than me.  It's coming though.  When I was leading I did push myself a bit harder as I don't want him getting too bored behind me.  When I can just causly turn to the side and see his tire I know I'm either moving too slow or that he's drafting me really good.  Either way he's never complained and said the front person sets the pace, until we come to hills. lol I have accepted that he kicks my ass on the hills, pretty much every one of them but I know he's going to be at the top waiting for me or he slows a bit for me to cactch up. He always remarks that even though he's more "seasoned" (I love how he puts that...lol) on the hills that my recovery time once I reach the top is pretty good.  That always makes me feel better. I have also learned that when you are leading and you move out to the left that it's a cue for the other person to move in front and take over. I didn't know that. I think last night was I was also yelling "car back" in my sleep as that's what you do when you are the person behind. Funny, when I did my race today and noticed people coming up from behind I wanted to yell it too. lol I'm also starting to learn lots of new hand signals as well. We did go off this highway a few times to take a more scienic and quieter route which was nice. 
In what seemed like a short time later we turned off to start the next part of our ride.  We stopped here because he wanted to make sure it was the correct turnoff and I needed a drink.  For some reason I haven't mastered being able to drink and drive yet.  Fueled by a few dark chocolate almonds and we were off.  Mental note, no more dark chocolate almonds for Chris....lol Can you say WIRED!!! lol  That again was a beautiful road along the water. However, I didn't think the hills would ever end!!  What goes up does come down but unfortuantly the down was greeted by another up for the most part. lol  It was all good though, I was happy.  A bit of a challenge is always a good thing.  I also did my first "girly" scream as I was hit by some bug and paniced that it was still on me.  My fear was a bee or a wasp.  Chris checked me out, said there was nothing there and asked if I was allergic.  I said no, just deathly afraid, you know...anotherwards a chicken shit. :)
So, I've heard a few times that Chris has taken the wrong turns because Google Maps has lied to him.  As we're riding along he said we have to stop and check something, he looked at his directions and said yup, we're going the right way. I told him I trusted him, I think, but that trust soon faded away as I could see he was looking more and more confused by his surroundings.  Then he said we had to stop and check again. By this time I had lost pretty much all trust that we were going the right way (I wasn't mad though as the scenery was amazing) AND the "thoughtful cyclist" - not what I called him exactly, stopped right at the bottom of a freaking hill...do you know how hard it is to take a steeper hill from a complete stop??? He thought it was cute and funny, me not so much!! lol His reasoning was if we decided to turn around then we wouldn't have to take the hill. I guess he was screwed either way as I would have commented that him making me take the hill and THEN having us turn around was just cruel. lol All in good fun though.  We had some strong gusts of wind on this road, I remember two which almost took me off my bike.  Things started to get really chilly at this point as there we some clouds moving in and even a few flurries in the air. Brrr...time to get moving.  We did stop at one point allowing me to get quick drink before moving back onto highway 7.
Chris said we did very well time wise coming out and at some points he had problems keeping up with me ( I find that hard to believe but it was still nice to hear) and we were on point for being back to the car in the timeframe Paul set out for us, even though that was not the intent. Honestly ,when I'm biking like this time goes out the window, I don't care as it's not about the time at all!! I have plently of other things to be timing. Someday biking may be about that but I think Chris is trying to break me of that mindset.  I think what I need to do is be able to balance both, taking in the gorgeous views AND having a decent ride time.  That will come with practice.  We travelled on this road for what seemed like forever.  I couldn't seem to get moving because the wind was on me, I was starting to feel a little deflated and every car was pissing me off, for no reason, just because it was there.  I soon realized what was happening, I was hitting the wall.  I had gone about 70ish km's by this point.  I was wondering if I had the power to go the rest of the way but realized I had no choice.  I kept pedalling though until I seen Chris cross the street.  I was confused but I also crossed.  He got off his bike to walk around and stretch out and strongly urged me to do the same thing.  Finally I gave in and got off and it was the best thing for me.  I was a little stiff, a bit hungry and just needed the break.  We stretched, and I had a builder bar to eat and felt totally refueled again.  It was just the break I needed at the most perfect time!! Periodically Chris would ask if I was ok or how things were going.  I kept telling him great but I have to admit now the little bit there was really tough mentally for me. At this point we knew we were getting close but he said there was another tough part coming as the wind would be on us along the coast. We moved onward and upward and had a pretty good ride.  We traveled a bit further and pulled over again.  I had a drink and he had a quick bite to eat.  He asked me how I was doing and asked if anything hurt.  To his surprise I said my neck hurt from being hunched over a bit.  He wondered if he should say anything (I could tell) but then did say he noticed I looked tense and also that my backpack I carry isn't really "biker friendly". I welcomed the feed back and perhpas we can find a way to improve my tension in time. Then he said we were pretty close to the car and suggested I lead us home.  At that point I could feel a wave of emotion pass through my body.  I was actually going to finish this.  I was going to accomplish my goal.  I could feel my eyes well up but no way was I going to blink and cry like a girl. lol I said sure and we were off.  I decided to tell him that I could very well cry back at the car and Chris being Chris said there is no crying in cycling.  Then he realized I was serious and said if I needed to cry I could.  I was hoping I could hold it together but sometimes, me being me, I just can't.  As we got closer to the car I started thinking about how the day went, how great I felt, how thrilled I was to be accomplishing this goal, how it wasn't the ride from hell, how much I have forgotten how it feels to reach a big goal, how great it felt to work hard for something that was important to me, how just like every other goal I was scared to start it but felt freaking awesome when I was finishing it, how nice it was to have someone there supporting me, who wanted to see me reach this goal, someone who was freaking cold as hell but never once blamed me even though it was my idea to bike 100km the last weekend in Oct. Yes, it's funny all the things I was thinking about as I knew the car was getting closer. Chris asked me how I wanted to finish, on a quiet note taking in the minute or if I wanted it to be a loud occasion.  I didn't really care as long as I finished strong.  He suggested, jokingly I think, that we sprint to the end.  If anyone remembers my running days, Paul always told me to "see the devil" near the end and that's what sprint to the end meant to me.  I wanted to say frig you to the devil, you haven't beaten me today!! I think Chris was a bit shocked when I said sure but we took off as fast as we could!!  What a great way to finish!!!!!  When I stopped my bike I bent over the handlebars for a few seconds, mainly to make sure I could stop my tears and keep the breakdown from starting and I must say I did very well.  Chris did the congratulartoy things and I was on top of the freaking world!!!!!  I did wipe away a few tears as I got in the car while he put both bikes on the racks but by the time he got in the car I was all dry. :)  Not only did I accomplish a new goal but it was in totally different circumstances then any other goal I've ever accomplished.  I think this goal was needed for mental reasons as much as for the physical side. I realized that although my life has changed a lot it doesn't mean I have to stop dreaming of accomplishing things that are important to me.  I can still have dreams and goals just like I always have.  I will just have a different way of reaching those goals now and may have different people supporting me throughout.  That's not a bad thing.  The excitement and passion can still be there and it is.  Chris mentioned that he thought I did really well considering I haven't done a lot of serious biking. I biked twice this year, and then the rest of the time was this month with him. He said some people train all year for what I did in very short time.  Hearing things like that always mean so much to me. It's nice to be recognized for my hard work, dedication and effort sometimes.
So looking back would I say it was worth it, ABSOLUTELY!! Would I change anything, nope, I don't think so.  I wish it wouldn't have been so windy at times, and not so cool too but those are things I can't control. The experience was out of this world.  It takes a lot to make me speechless but I really couldn't put into words how great, amazingly awesomely fantistic I felt (are those even words..lol). Having things go as smootly as they did, no issues except for wind was great! I think we were both pretty tired and hungry at the end, although I couldn't admit to being tired until my adreneline wore off around 9:30.  Then holy crap, everything was sore, stiff and tired. One thing I do know for certain is that if he would have suggested another bike ride this afternoon I would have gone but my God, my butt would have hated me forever and a day as I still can't pee right! :)  But hey, I'm already trying to think of a new goal to accomplish.  So, stay tuned folks becasue with me nobody knows what could be coming next. A ride up Mount Washington is still playing on my mind and I know Chris is doing it for sure next summer, hmmm.....

100km bike ride...bring it on!!

It's been a while since my last post and as you all know a lot of stuff has been going on in my life.  I'm ashamed to admit it but for the last bit of the summer my fitness suffered due to all the drama. Seemed like I lost my "get up and go". Luckily I have a very supportive team of friends who helped me get back on track again, for them I will be forever thankful.  As most of you know my fitness God, Paul convinced me to get into biking as a way of staying active since he advised on me taking some time off from running. I fought him a bit but eventually I gave in an listened to him (I've learned that Paul is always right so I don't know why I even bother arguing...lol) and came to enjoy it.  The most I had ever biked was 50km (that was my goal last year, which I reached on my last ride of the season) so I threw out there that this year it had to be 100km, it just seemed logical to me. lol So, Graham and I bought a bike trainer and I used it a bit over the winter but it wasn't quite the same as being outside, but better than nothing.  By the time Spring came I was excited to get back out and hit the streets.  The first few hills made me think I was going to die, ok, all the hills made me think that but being stubborn as I am I said I'll fix you, I did hill training on my bike.  I remember going up and down hills as many times as I possibly could in the Millwood Subdivision. Mind you they are nothing like the hills I had coming up in my future but they'd do. I expressed desire to still do 100k so we decided that we'd do one in August in the Valley and well...obviously that never happened. 
In July I went out to Canmore for Paul's bootcamp but this one was going to be a bit different. Instead of hiking for two days we'd be biking for one and hiking for the other.  I remember the ride was going to be 50k and I was ok with that as I'd done that distance before.  However, when all was said and done it turned out to be 70km.  The most amazing bike ride of my life.  Being in the mountains like that, OH MY GOD!!!  Some of the visions will be engrained in my memory forever!!  Special thanks to Paul who taught me how to draft (even after a near collision...lol) and spent some time riding with me and enjoying the views and to Craig who made sure I was never alone, particularly as I rode through downtown Banff and was scared out of my mind.  I still remember cursing EVERY red stop light too!! :)  We biked up a mountain as well.  I can't remember which one (Tunnel or Sulphor perhaps but I could be wrong) and all I remember thinking was I paid how much to be tortured like this?  And once I got to the top I thought...I paid how much....it was worth EVERY freaking penny!!!!!  What an amazing feeling!!!  Biking 70k AND to the top of a mountain....freaking YAY!!!!!!!! I do have to admit though riding back with Paul I remember saying there better be some pop in your fridge for me Mr. Plakas, and low and behold there was!!  The best Diet Coke I ever drank!!!! :)
As August approached I knew I wouldn't be doing my 100km ride in the Valley and I felt sad about it. I thought I had trained pretty good for it, didn't have too much of a problem with Paul's ride (sore butt was about it) and now I had to let that goal go.  Someday I would do my 100km, just not now.
Actually, I had pretty much given up hope of riding outside at all anymore.  I had my bike trainer and that's how my riding was going to be.  I'm not a fan of riding outside alone in case something were to happen and I needed help. There is just safety in numbers in my mind. I casually mentioned it to a girlfriend of mine at the gym and she said OMG...do I have the person for you!!!  A friend of her's was always asking her to go biking with him but she hadn't for whatever reason.  She said she'd pass my contact info along and after about a month of trying to figure things out we were able to get together for our first ride.  I was scared to death...and beyond as I knew this guy was a serious biker, could whip my butt (and probably would), would make me eat his dust....ok, you get the picture, he's a SERIOUS cyclist!!  Cycled from Halifax to Montreal a few times, traveled from one end of the NL to the other and some smaller tours in NS.  A SERIOUS biker!!!!  So, almost a month ago I was feeling brave and went on my first ride with him.  It was scared for SO many reasons but I had a blast!!  Funny thing is he opened my eyes to the fact that riding doesn't have to be about beating the clock (for me everything is about beating the clock, as most of you already know) and could be about taking in the scenery.  Our first ride was very beautiful but the rides we've done since then are even more beautiful in my mind.  Maybe it's because I'm a bit more relaxed on these rides. The only thing I fear is the hills. :)  Perhaps someday we can revisit that first location again.  Ok...now on to my goal! Last weekend Chris suggested that we do a 160km bike ride as a group (ok, a few of us) and nobody really seemed to bite. I was interested but figured it was too much for me. Then I mentioned a 100km and it sounded like it was a possibility but when the plan came out for this weekend it was for a 38k ride, which I was totally ok with as it was one that I said I wanted to do anyway.  Yeah, 38km wouldn't be so bad and it's in a very pretty area.  But something about that 100km was nagging away at me.  So, later Monday evening I emailed Chris saying if you ever decide to do a 100km ride this season I'm in.  I gave him all kinds of reasons to not do it as I didn't want him to feel pressured. After all, he's the pro and maybe he thought I wouldn't be able to handle a 100k but was too kind to tell me.  It wasn't long until I got a reply....yup, sure we should do it this weekend, are ya up for it?  My reply back was...ummm...yeah....sure....which really translated to OH MY FREAKING GOD WHAT DID I JUST GET MYSELF INTO??? :)  However, I was game and the plans have been made!   This is a very huge deal for me.  Not only because it's a 100km, and I know it's going to be tough mentally, physically and really hard on my butt but also because I'm going to accomplish one goal that I didn't see happening any time soon. I'm trying to figure out how to fuel properly before the ride, what/when I need to eat so I don't bonk (yes, that's a term) during the ride and what to wear for warmth but not overdress.  So many things going through my head.  But you know what...I'm mostly looking forward to getting out on my bike, riding a 100km, not dying and having lots of fun witth a friend!!  If anything, on these last 4 weeks I've been riding, that is what I've learned the most.  Biking doesn't have to be all about time. It can be a great way to tour (as I've heard lots of stories) and it can be a great way to get out and spend some time with friends.  On Saturday I will be marking one more goal off my bucket list. I'm beyond SUPER excited about it and want to enjoy EVERY minute of it, even the ones when I'm sure I'm about to die and I KNOW there will be at least a few of those. And one more important thing, butt...I'm very sorry but you are in for a world of pain.  I know you don't believe me but it will be SO WORTH IT!!! I will be sure to post about my experience on fb on Sat and will try to do a blog on the weekend too. So, after doing a 100km what crazy thing will I come up with next? Stay tuned to see....

By the way special thanks to Catherine Lukeman who introdueced me to someone just as crazy as I am when it comes to certain parts of fitnees and thanks to Chris for sending me the first invite and never looking back.  I know I am much slower than you but you've always made me feel welcome and never made me feel less adequte than you are on a bike. Thank you for helping me to make this goal possible. I will be sure to thank you for making it a success when I do my next post. :)

Thunder Buns Cycling Club all the way...baby!!! :)

How Bad Do You Want It? Part 2

If you want something bad enough you will do whatever it takes to make it happen!  For those who do not already know I have tried to get certified through another fitness company before and didn't have any luck.  After my attempts and not being a success it left me really wondering if I had what it took to be a personal trainer. I thought perhaps I was meant to give motivational help like I do right now.  After a day or two of feeling sorry for myself I decided that I did want this more than anything and it was time to fight for it. It was after all the final goal I had left to complete. After doing some deeper research I found out that the province offers a certification as well.  I looked into it and decided to sign up for it. I was supposed to have my first class early in Jan. and I was super excited. The day before the class was to start I found out it was cancelled. I was crushed. It was starting to seem to me that it just wasn't meant to happen. Again, I sucked it up and signed up for the class that was taking place a few weeks later.  Unfortunately I was going to miss one of the classes though as I was supposed to be in the US for a concert. The instructor was nice and suggested that she would cover the "easy" stuff while I was away and do the intense stuff while I was in class.  I thought that was so nice of her!  As it turned out I didn't get to go away anyway and our class was cancelled due to a snowstorm anyway.  The class was held the next weekend and I attended both classes.  Then we had another weekend when the class was cancelled and bumped ahead because of a snowstorm.  It was a pretty long drawn out process for only 4 classes.  I'm thinking it took almost a month and a half to get the 4 classes in.
After the last class was when the real hard work started.  It was time for me to study and prepare for my exam.  I had lots of quizzes to do and even a mock exam to study from. That may sound like it made things easy but that was not the case. I sat down and made notes and studied them. It took me about 2 weeks to do the quizzes and my friend was kind enough to review them so at least I'd know what I was studying was correct. I also had my trainer who was always there to answer any of my questions  and allowed me to shadow him as well, and a past trainer who was there to help too.  I felt like I had so much help and support that I couldn't help but pass this exam.
I decided my game plan was to have my quizzes all done by the end of Feb. so I could have the whole month of March to study.  I couldn't have planned things any better as I finished studying my notes on the last weekend and spent 6 days studying the quizzes and exam.
Stress, what stress! lol  I think I handled myself pretty well but I did have a few melt downs.  Graham said I was a bit cranky but really I don't remember.  I became so consumed with this stuff that I don't remember much of the last month.  I studied before work, at work if I could call it up on my computer without my boss seeing it, after supper, before bed and sometimes I would fall asleep hearing Graham telling me to shut up and go to sleep as I was trying to go over things out loud.  I have NEVER studied for anything quite like this!!  I had two or three nights that I just had to move away from it or I was going to go crazy, I was convinced of it. :) 
Before long it was exam day!  I felt oddly confident that I knew what I needed to know but that in itself scared me.  I guess I kinda felt like I couldn't possibly know enough to pass this exam. I didn't before so what would make this time any different?  I stopped studying about 4 pm on exam day as I was starting to second guess what I knew.  Not a good thing!!  It's funny because my resting heart rate is normally about 56-60, nope that night it was 90, a bit high for me. :)  I got in the exam room and tried to take a deep breath but it wasn't really happening.  Ok...it was time to do this!  I went through and filled out the questions I knew for sure.  If I didn't know the answer immediately I skipped it.  Then I went through a second time and read the questions a bit closer and found that I knew a few more answers.  Great news for me!  I went through a third time and tried to figure out what the questions I had problems with.  Some of them I think I figured out, some of them I blindly guessed at.  I went through a 4 time but stopped about half way through as what my PT said came to mind.  He told me NOT to over analyze the questions which is exactly what I was doing. So, I accepted that I had given it my best try and passed it in.  I felt like I did well but again, my past exam history played on my mind. Now I played the waiting game!
I was supposed to get my mark within a week or so but I figured it would be a bit longer knowing that it was a long weekend and my instructor wasn't actually there to give me the exam, a PT did instead.  So when an email from my instructor popped up on Friday I just opened it without thinking.  I figured she was telling me she picked up the exam and would be in touch.  OMG....what a shock I got.  I remember seeing "Great news....that I passed my exam and then the mark". I'm sure the whole world heard me yelling with excitement!  I don't remember the last time I was that happy.  I was truly on top of the world!!  After about 10 mins I calmed down enough to email directly email those who helped me in any way and then posted it on facebook.
What did I learn through this process? I learned what real hard work is all about.  I learned that this certification means as much to me as I tell everyone it does.  I learned that it was worth a few tears and lots of stress.  Most of all, I learned that I am tougher than I thought.Nothing that is really worth it comes to me easy and because of that it's even more meaningful to me.  I plan to study for my next exam the same way as this one.  At this point, I am one step closer and am starting to believe I can really do this.  I know others have said I can but now I am REALLY starting to believe it myself.
So to all you who have stuck by me through this exam, thank you.  I know I drove some of you nuts, may have been a bit cranky, bored you with my trainer talk, muscles especially but you all helped in more than one way.
Only one more to go, I will be giving it my all...that's my promise to you!!

How Bad Do You Really Want It? Part 1

Well....it's been quite a few months for me so I thought it was time to do a blog. I've had two big (to me) things going on so I thought I'd share some of my feelings and thoughts.
The first thing is trying to make a comeback to running.  I have been off for 7 months due to an injury. While running last Spring I injured my heel but thinking it was no big deal I continued on without having it looked at. It was a chronic injury that seemed to come and go so I just figured it was a "normal" part of running and learned to accept it.  That went on for about 3 months.  Last summer while I was away on vacation I re injured it but this time I could hardly walk.  I was with some friends and for me to admit and show how much pain I was in I knew it was now serious (I tried hiding it but you can't hide hardly being able to walk). I continued on that vacation and climbed three more mountains while suffering through the pain but the views at the top were SO worth it and I'd probably do it all over again. I had an appointment for a Specialist 2 days after returning from vacation (for an unrelated matter) and he said my heel was in such bad shape (swollen, and inflamed) that he wouldn't even touch it.  Thankfully he knew exactly what it was, a type of bursitis that I will have to live with forever.  He wanted me off my feet as much as possible for 3 weeks, thinking that would be enough time for the swelling to go down.  Even thought it pretty much killed me I do believe I listened to him. We then discussed the reason I was there in the first place, that being lack of range of motion in my hips which really concerned my regular dr.  After reviewing my X-Rays he asked how much pain I was in.  I told him I was just extremely stiff in the hips but I was a runner so that was expected.  He told me no and that I had severe arthritis in my hips.  He said the left one would need to be operated on within a year and then decided I could talk to a surgeon anytime as it was worse then he thought. I have complete bone on bone on the left side.  The right side is going that way but not quite there yet. I zoned out at that point because I believed my active lifestyle was over and that scared the hell out of me.  Everything I worked so hard for was gone, I could see my old lifestyle coming back.  OH GOD!!  Anyway...after telling Graham about it I emailed my friend who can always "talk me down" when it comes to fitness and he assured me that life as I knew it wasn't over and that there were many things I could still do.  BUT, he did tell me that I was NOT to even think of running until the Spring.  This was serious and I needed to give my body ample time to rest.  Holy crap, how was I going to do this? I had races planned and running had become something I did three times a week and liked.  However, I gave my friend my word that I wouldn't do it and I didn't.  I figured when it come to something like this I should probably listen. To be honest the Fall was tough as there was lots of great running weather but come Winter I really didn't miss it too much. Something about running in slush and -10C didn't seem as appealing to me. lol
Then Spring started creeping up and I started getting anxious to get out and try running again.  I did start about a month earlier than promised but it wasn't serious running.  It was just running seconds at a time to see if my body could handle it.  At first I didn't think it was going to be possible.  I was in SO much discomfort but I was going to keep trying.  Of course I was overdoing it again.  I did one run and then had a session with my trainer the next day and I could hardly move (I couldn't even do box jumps). He asked me what was up and I told him what I did.  He said I did WAY TOO MUCH too soon and that he really didn't want me running at all.  He said there were better things I could be doing like biking etc.  I heard him and I still hear him but it's something I have to keep trying. For me it's a mental thing as much as it is an active thing. I had goals and I don't like to quit on those goals.  I want to run a 5k in 25 mins(hence my blog name...future fast chick) and I was so close last year. So far this year I haven't even been able to run a full 5k yet much less get it in the 25 mins range.  I have two weeks to go until my first race and my goal is to complete it in under 30 mins. That's tough for me to think about as last year I finished it in 26 mins.  I'm not even sure how my body will do on a race day. When I run now I still have a bit of a tough time.  Sometimes I feel it in my knees, sometimes in my hips but sometimes I feel great and have no discomfort at all. My mind plays tricks on me saying that I should be able to do this, I'm whimping out, anyone can do this so why can't I. Then I realize that those thoughts are crazy and that's it not me holding myself back it's my body saying it just needs more time.  My friend has told me there is absolutely no shame in having to move on to a different sport or having to cut down on my running which made me feel much better but I'm determined that I can do this, my body will allow me to do this. I just have to realize that it isn't going to be easy and some days are going to be better than others. My goals over the next two weeks are to be able to run a full 5k without stopping (I think now it's more of a mental thing for me) and to have my time down enough so I can cross that finish line in 29:59 on race day. Fingers are crossed!!