Well....it's been quite a few months for me so I thought it was time to do a blog. I've had two big (to me) things going on so I thought I'd share some of my feelings and thoughts.
The first thing is trying to make a comeback to running. I have been off for 7 months due to an injury. While running last Spring I injured my heel but thinking it was no big deal I continued on without having it looked at. It was a chronic injury that seemed to come and go so I just figured it was a "normal" part of running and learned to accept it. That went on for about 3 months. Last summer while I was away on vacation I re injured it but this time I could hardly walk. I was with some friends and for me to admit and show how much pain I was in I knew it was now serious (I tried hiding it but you can't hide hardly being able to walk). I continued on that vacation and climbed three more mountains while suffering through the pain but the views at the top were SO worth it and I'd probably do it all over again. I had an appointment for a Specialist 2 days after returning from vacation (for an unrelated matter) and he said my heel was in such bad shape (swollen, and inflamed) that he wouldn't even touch it. Thankfully he knew exactly what it was, a type of bursitis that I will have to live with forever. He wanted me off my feet as much as possible for 3 weeks, thinking that would be enough time for the swelling to go down. Even thought it pretty much killed me I do believe I listened to him. We then discussed the reason I was there in the first place, that being lack of range of motion in my hips which really concerned my regular dr. After reviewing my X-Rays he asked how much pain I was in. I told him I was just extremely stiff in the hips but I was a runner so that was expected. He told me no and that I had severe arthritis in my hips. He said the left one would need to be operated on within a year and then decided I could talk to a surgeon anytime as it was worse then he thought. I have complete bone on bone on the left side. The right side is going that way but not quite there yet. I zoned out at that point because I believed my active lifestyle was over and that scared the hell out of me. Everything I worked so hard for was gone, I could see my old lifestyle coming back. OH GOD!! Anyway...after telling Graham about it I emailed my friend who can always "talk me down" when it comes to fitness and he assured me that life as I knew it wasn't over and that there were many things I could still do. BUT, he did tell me that I was NOT to even think of running until the Spring. This was serious and I needed to give my body ample time to rest. Holy crap, how was I going to do this? I had races planned and running had become something I did three times a week and liked. However, I gave my friend my word that I wouldn't do it and I didn't. I figured when it come to something like this I should probably listen. To be honest the Fall was tough as there was lots of great running weather but come Winter I really didn't miss it too much. Something about running in slush and -10C didn't seem as appealing to me. lol
Then Spring started creeping up and I started getting anxious to get out and try running again. I did start about a month earlier than promised but it wasn't serious running. It was just running seconds at a time to see if my body could handle it. At first I didn't think it was going to be possible. I was in SO much discomfort but I was going to keep trying. Of course I was overdoing it again. I did one run and then had a session with my trainer the next day and I could hardly move (I couldn't even do box jumps). He asked me what was up and I told him what I did. He said I did WAY TOO MUCH too soon and that he really didn't want me running at all. He said there were better things I could be doing like biking etc. I heard him and I still hear him but it's something I have to keep trying. For me it's a mental thing as much as it is an active thing. I had goals and I don't like to quit on those goals. I want to run a 5k in 25 mins(hence my blog name...future fast chick) and I was so close last year. So far this year I haven't even been able to run a full 5k yet much less get it in the 25 mins range. I have two weeks to go until my first race and my goal is to complete it in under 30 mins. That's tough for me to think about as last year I finished it in 26 mins. I'm not even sure how my body will do on a race day. When I run now I still have a bit of a tough time. Sometimes I feel it in my knees, sometimes in my hips but sometimes I feel great and have no discomfort at all. My mind plays tricks on me saying that I should be able to do this, I'm whimping out, anyone can do this so why can't I. Then I realize that those thoughts are crazy and that's it not me holding myself back it's my body saying it just needs more time. My friend has told me there is absolutely no shame in having to move on to a different sport or having to cut down on my running which made me feel much better but I'm determined that I can do this, my body will allow me to do this. I just have to realize that it isn't going to be easy and some days are going to be better than others. My goals over the next two weeks are to be able to run a full 5k without stopping (I think now it's more of a mental thing for me) and to have my time down enough so I can cross that finish line in 29:59 on race day. Fingers are crossed!!
