A week later, as I hit the road on my bike for the first time since the Mount Washington Bike Race I have had a lot of time to reflect on my experience. The race did not go exactly as I planned but in a twisted freaky way I wouldn't change a thing about the outcome. Here is a flash back of how the day went, when I really got into trouble, how I felt crossing the finish line and most of all, what I learned about how I attempted this race and the kind of person I am.
Race morning started great. I had a great night's sleep, which was unexpected as I was a bit nervous, like I am before any race. Not sure why as I knew worst case scenario I could walk the whole route and still reach the summit. We got up at 5AM, plenty early to get Tracy and Catherine to the base as they had to be ready to summit the mountain at 6:30, being at the top before any racers started. I was expecting to have breakfast (I even bought some stuff the night before) and a little "me"time before leaving but it didn't turn out that way. We were out of the condo by 5:30AM allowing me time to just grab my cup of grapes to munch on them in the car, a decision I would regret in about 4 hours. In the car I had lots of things going through my head, excitement, positive energy and the thought of who is REALLY CRAZY enough to do this....me and Chris, that's who. lol As we got to the base and got parked and started to unload our bikes and gear I started to get nervous. The type of nervous where I needed to pace or I was going to throw up. I think it's called nervous energy. The energy was a little stronger than I was used to but I was still ok, just the same. Tracy came in very handy here as she walked with me, talked with and was just there for me and I will be forever thankful. Catherine was chatting with Chris and making sure he was ready to go, had enough water etc. These two took such good care of us. lol Chris and I posed for some pictures before the girls left and drove to the summit. Great job Catherine as she had a big fear of heights! :) I hung out with Chris for a bit but off and on we found ourselves going our own ways. Chris wanted to socialize with some other riders but I just wanted to get in the mindset of what I was going to accomplish in the next 3-4 hours. I wondered off to a beautiful CALM lake beside the race tent so I could take some pics and clear my mind. It worked good for the most part. I got on my bike soon afterwards just to drive around a little and try to get the legs moving. I have to admit, I was intimidated by the pro's who were warming up and felt a little like I didn't deserve to be there but I WAS there and was going to conquer this beast. I called Paul to get some motivation and for the most part he delivered. He was concerned that I hadn't eaten anything except some grapes and a chocolate chip cookie (which Chris gave me) before such a big ordeal but at this point there was nothing I could do about it. My God, that freaking man is ALWAYS right as I will learn shortly. He texted me that he had just said a prayer for me (I think he included the prayer in the text) and it was the last text I got. After some very positive and encouraging words from Chris we were getting ready to line up. We joked about the type of music Chris was listening to as it was powerful yet dreadful at the same time. He had his cards read a short time before the race so there was some thoughts going through his head about that. Thankfully the readings didn't turn out. I have to admit that the reading was a concern for me too but I knew Chris was strong and would be just fine. For the record, I was right. :) The first song I played on my phone was Living on a Prayer, how ironic! :) I was standing there talking to a fellow ride when Chris yelled for me that they called my color to line up and before I knew it I was standing in a line beside some of the best bikers out there. I was ok though, I was going to do this. I remember going across the start line and giving a fist pump in the air and yelling YEAH, to what seemed like the top of my lungs. :) Lets get one thing straight right away though, I knew I wasn't going to be able to bike all of this and figured I'd be walking most of it, which I was ok with. I wanted to do it for the experience more so than the actual ride itself I think. I've hiked the mountain 4 times, been up in the van once or twice so why not attempt to bike it. Holy shit, the first set of hills were killer as they started RIGHT AWAY. No time for any warm up's, just hills instantly. lol Ok, I got this. I made it up about 3/4 of the first hill and then thought I'd be better to walk as I felt like I was hardly moving. I'd walk a bit and figured I'd get on again when I reached a flatter section. hahaha, riiiggghhhht!! A few cyclists asked if I was ok, if my bike was ok and if I needed anything. I was fine and felt very good about the challenge. A few offered some kind advice which I will follow next year for sure. After walking for a bit Chris caught up to me. We chatted for a few mins and then he was off, slowly getting further and further away from me where I could no longer see him. You go Chris...you're rock!!!!!! I did keep pretty much neck in neck with a fellow rider and I offered him as much support as I could as it looked like he was suffering very early on. At this point I was still doing fine. It was his first and probably last time doing the race. We played tag with each other for a bit, him passing then I'd pass but we still kept pretty close. At one point when I felt defeated he just looked at me like don't quit now and it gave me the power to keep going at that moment. I soldiered on thinking holy crap I'm really doing this. I feel great!! This feeling was short lived though as the climb went on. I started to feel tired I'd say at about the 3 mile mark. Nothing I couldn't handle but the tiredness was there. I was enjoying the view as I was still walking but all was good. I put on some of my Matchbox Twenty music and belted out the tunes, not like anyone was close enough to hear me. lol I had 4 -5 miles roughly left to go but felt confident I could do this. It was about the 4 or 5 mile mark that I realized a van was behind me. I thought he was just going up the mountain but then it hit me, shit....I'm last and he's the sweeper van. I was disappointed in myself, felt like a loser and started to panic. I had to do some soul talk at that point to calm myself down. Someone always has to be last, I was DOING this unlike most people in the world and I didn't care as long as I finished. Seems like the higher I got the more I started to struggle though. He pulled up beside me to see how I was doing and I said fine. How the hell do you think I'm doing, I climbing a freaking mountain here, with a bike and it's never going to end is really what I was thinking. lol He was very kind and said if I needed him he was there for me. It was then that I imagined that I had my own personal support system with a very encouraging friend driving the truck. I felt at ease cause I knew that friend wouldn't let anything happen to me, I was in good hands. The van pulled over at every support car we passed and I soon figured out why. The peeps in the cars were talking to me and he was getting their report on how I was doing. Made sense and again it meant I was in good hands. As I got closer to the top I noticed cloud cover approaching. Anyone who knows the rock pile knows this isn't good. I started to panic thinking OMG, he's going to pull me from the race now. To my horror he did pull over and got out of the truck. Before he could speak I begged him not to pull me off the course, please let me finish...please, please!! He said I just wanted to let you know I'm staying close to you as we are hitting some bad weather and I'm going to use my lights so oncoming traffic can see you. He said there was no way he'd pull me from the race and he'd follow me to the end. I felt a bit better then. The honks and waves and cheers I got from the cars coming down was amazing!!! I tried to give every one of them a thumbs up although I felt like I was fading fast. I remember hitting the 5.2 mile mark and telling the support car I was tired. They offered to take my bike and let me finish by just walking and I said no. They wished me luck. I remember asking one of the support cars where the 22% grade started as I knew it was near the end and he smiled and pointed right beside me. I was about to start the most grueling part of the race but then it would be over. I got this, I can do this, no worries...I can almost see the summit!! That's when I started to fall apart! I remember somewhere either in that grade or just after it I seen a support car. The lady came out to see how I was doing and I said I can't breathe. She asked if I wanted to stop and I said no, stopping wasn't an option. She said she was going to walk the rest of the way with me then. We walked a few steps and I had to stop, I had very bad tightness in my chest and couldn't breathe at all. I remember in my mind visioning my lungs literally pushing together and expanding so much I couldn't get in any air. Ok, some dumb shit goes through a person's mind when you are where I was mentally at that point. We got my breathing back and I continued on. A few mins later I mentioned that my hands were so cold and both my arms REALLY hurt!! Magically within seconds I had gloves and OMG...they felt AMAZING!!! I remember the paramedic (which I didn't know that what she was at the time, I thought she was just a friendly volunteer) asking if she could push my bike and I got a bit mad and said NOPE, I go over the finish line with MY bike on MY OWN and I don't want help from anyone!! Help was NOT an option!! I had to do this alone!!! I kept insisting that I wanted to enter into a different parking lot as that HAD to be where the finish line was but nope, she was right, it was still UP there.... I think I even said are you f***ing kidding me cause I don't find it funny! Then we both chuckled! I vaguely remember Tracy running down to meet me and support me the rest of the way. I don't remember actually talking to her but I know she was there. Before long I remember the paramedic yelling you made it, you made it, right there is the finish line. I remember a lot of people cheering me on, getting almost in my face to cheer, I remember hearing them talk about me on the loud speaker but I don't know what was said....I remember (I think) the paramedics backing off for me when I went across the finish line. I was SO HAPPY I did it!!!!! My bike left me, I guess Catherine took it from me right away although I don't remember. All I remember is my legs buckling and I kept saying I have to sit down as I started to fall backwards. I heard a paramedic say she's going down! In my head that made me panic but there was nothing I could do about it. They were right I was going down. I kept insisting that I just needed to sit down and they kept saying hun you are sitting. I just kept repeating I needed to sit down!! Almost getting angry that they wouldn't let me sit down. I remember the paramedic beside me saying he was going to kneel down beside me so he could catch me if I needed him too. He told me to lean on him so I think I did. They grabbed my finger and stuck something on it and I seen that my heart rate was way over 200. They asked me if I seen anyone I was there with and I pointed to Tracy, Catherine and Chris. They asked me who they were and I said my best friends. They said what are their names and I had no idea! THAT'S a scary feeling!! As I was sitting there I said I think I'm cold. Then my body started to shake uncontrollably! There was nothing we could do to stop it!! They covered me in tons of blankets, but I still couldn't stop shaking, violently almost. I don't remember if I was still cold or not at that point. I remember one of the 6 paramedics saying we have to get her into a warm space or we are going to be in trouble. It wasn't long after that they were moving me to one of the passenger vans to see if that helped. I kept saying I'm still so cold....the paramedic said we have the heat on as high as it will go and they kept throwing blankets upon blankets around me!! Someone suggested I have a drink of my Gatorade but my hands were shaking so bad they had to open the bottle for me. I did hear one of the paramedics say there was an ambulance at the base if I needed it. That was freaking scary!! Me...need an ambulance...what the hell???? They all sat there with me for a bit and I think a few of the paramedics were talking to Chris, Catherine and Tracy who GOD love them, never left my side the whole time. It was at this point that I could name them and I think that's when I was starting to come around. They stuck that thing on my finger again and my heart rate was back to either 98 or 93. Either way, better than the well over 200 it was before. I asked one of the paramedics if I actually went over the finish line and he said hell yeah...you rocked it!! Yup, ok... but it still felt nice to hear! They talked with me for a bit until they felt I was out of the woods and then started to talk about my transport down the mountain. They moved me to Catherine's car and helped me get in and tucked me in my blankets. At that point they thought I'd be ok. I remember that I was still shaking a bit and felt really tired!! God love Tracy and Catherine for keeping the car very warm for me, and Chris who rubbed my back coming down the mountain for a bit, trying to warm me up and keep me calm. It worked. May be the best back rub I've ever had. lol As we got to the base I started to feel a bit better and the severe shaking eased. I made my way into the turkey dinner and although I still felt quite stunned I think the dinner was VERY tasty! The coke was the BOMB!!!! :) The rest of the day consisted of some slow walking around town and the BIGGEST piece of pot roast I EVER had for supper!! YUM!!!!!!
So what did I learn? I learned that I MUST eat before something this intense!! This was not a 5k race that would end fast, it was hours and VERY intense!!! Grapes and a cookie didn't cut it! I learned that perhaps I should have drank more. I did drink but probably nowhere near enough. I learned what it feels like to be in hell at the end of a race. I 've seen others in that shape and thought how awful it must be and yup, it's pretty awful indeed!! But most of all, I learned that I am MUCH STRONGER than I EVER thought possible!! Anyone else, feeling like I did, would have said screw it, I'm done!! That wasn't an option for me! I was doing this even if it killed me and at the time it felt like it just might. lol Did I learn anything, I certainly did! Will I ever do it again, you bet your last dollar I will. However, next year I'M GOING TO KILL THE ROCK PILE, IT WILL NOT ALMOST KILL ME!! MOUNT WASHINGTON.....I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Thanks to everyone on facebook who supported me! Thanks to Tracy and Catherine who came out to support both Chris and I on this crazy journey. Thanks to Paul and H who listened to me go on and on about this big race (and the tour as well). You guys believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and I will be FOREVER thankful!!! Next year I will listen to you and your advice!! :) Again, thanks to each and every one of you for the support. I will be better prepared next year and I promise to make you ALL proud of me!! You guys rock!!!!
