I tell people I'm getting married in Sept, making it sound like it's so far away. Sometimes they chuckle and say next month? I say no, in Sept and then realize, holy crap...next Friday is Sept! Yep, it's not 289 days away anymore, more like 36. Holy crap, this is really happening! :) I think I am exactly where I should be in the scheme of planning. Guest list is pretty much finalized, dress is getting it's alterations done, the bridesmaids dresses are being taken care of, the cake is finalized except deciding on the decorations down the side, Frank's tuxes are on order, flowers are taken care of, reached out to the dj and things are good there. I've decided on sneakers as my footwear of choice. I just couldn't see me in heels plus i didn't find a pair that I fell in love with. The sneakers are dressy and fitting for me. Frank has his ring and mine will be going out to be sized next week or the week after (that only takes 10 business days but I will leave enough time for delays). The next thing we have to take care of are all the details like a seating chart, making sure everyone knows what they are to be doing the days leading up to and the day of the wedding. I think as much as I hate asking the bridal party or the groomsmen to help with anything they will need to come into play at this point. We will certainly need their help the day before the wedding as there will be plenty to do. We will be decorating two places so my thought is Tracy and the girls will be helping me and Frank with the hall and the boys will be setting up chairs at the other spot. Frank and I will then travel between the two places making sure the decorations are put up and the way we want them. The big thing at the firehall will be deciding on how we want the tables positioned in the room and setting up the centrepieces the way we want them and a few decorations here and there as we have hired a decorating company to handle the big decorations. I get chills when I picture how beautiful it will be.
Although planning the wedding has been fun and enjoyable for the most part, it has come with some stresses for sure. I'm trying to force myself to let go of some of the stresses or trust that they will work themselves out but it's been really tough. I have a hard time asking for help so at times I've felt incredibly bogged down with details, ideas, plans and advice. Sometimes it's been overwhelming and I just needed to walk away. As I said I hate asking for help and bothering my bridal party, even though they have assured me they will help me, especially my maid of honour (she's amazing!!). For any other brides or brides to be I strongly suggest you pick a wedding party that you know you can count on, and turn to them for help. You have enough on your plate and shouldn't need to worry about the small things. Tracy repeatedly tells me that's what she's there for but yet I keep plugging away by myself. lol A bride should delegate who's doing what early on so that they don't have to think about it any longer. Something I obviously didn't do. Also, ALWAYS save more money then you allow in your budget. Our budget went out the window causing some stress. We tried to do things as cheaply as possible while still making it look pretty but it's been really tough. It's those costs that you forget about like alterations, decorations here and there, all the last minute things that all add up. I was told that it always costs more than you think but I believed I could do it within our budget. Silly me!
I'm also having a tough time excepting that everything won't be PERFECT on our day and that there will be bumps to smooth out. I want our day to be perfect, screw the bumps! lol No time for that crap! I think I'll tell Frank's side of the party to be there 2 hours early as it's quite obvious that time is not important to them. Maybe Frank also needs a watch as a wedding gift. lol I've told him if he isn't there when those doors open for me I'm not waiting around. No second chances. lol Seriously, time is an important factor for me. Tracy knows this is of top importance for me and has assured me that she will do everything in her power to keep us right on the clock. That is the only thing I really stressed to her that is important to me! I say that now but God knows what will happen to throw the time off. I said at least if my car breaks down I can walk from the location where I'll be getting ready to where the ceremony will take place. Hell, I'll have sneakers on so I could even run! Hey, 5k run in my wedding dress...hmmm...could be on to something there. lol
I have had that "oh my God moment" though. It came to me when I was over at David's Bridal getting my dress alterations done. I'm standing there as she's pulling, tugging, and lifting the gown every way known to man and as I looked in the mirror, there I was, standing in a wedding gown, MY WEDDING GOWN. I guess up to this point, it was a pretty dress that came off the rack. But at that very moment it really hit me, this is MY PRETTY DRESS, this dress is now being fitted for ME, it was going to be PERFECT, FOR ME and nobody else!!! I'm 42 years old and up until a year and a half ago getting married was never an option for me. I was going to be a Carter for life. Now here I am, having this amazing dress altered for me, ME!!!! I had all I could do not to cry. Ok, I had tears but I purposely didn't blink, hey, if they didn't run down my cheeks then nobody knew I was crying. I think that moment was even more profound for me then trying on the dress. In my head the dress was still just a pretty dress off the rack (even though I knew it was the one for me as soon as I put it on). Now it was different, it's MY DRESS!
I can hardly wait until I put my dress on, on my wedding day, with the veil, the flowers, the make up and pretty hair and the jewels. I can't wait for it all to come together. I can't wait to open my eyes the morning of the wedding, I can't wait to have some quite time with my maid of honour before things get insanely crazy busy getting me ready. I'd like to hear the song I'm Going to the Chapel too at some point. lol I can't wait for the photos before the wedding when it's truly all about me. I can't wait for Payton to take my hand as she leads me down the isle to her grampy (that may not work out as planned but she's pretty excited about it right now...lol), I can't wait until the door opens and I take the most important walk of my life, to the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
