Does this work

Just trying to see if this works before doing any long enteries.

Good bye 2021

So, it's that time of year again and what a year it has been!! Along with all the covid 19 stuff we are still going through we had Frank and Payton's head on crash in Feb which could have been a life changer for sure. I know Frank is still suffering side effects and pain but it could have been much worse. I did a lot of thinking about that over the holiday's this year. Just glad they are both still with us. In July I accepted a position at the Captain Spry Rec Center as a weight room specialist/ personal trainer. I did this as I needed more hours then I was working at the Gordon Snow Rec Center. Over the summer I made the big decision to start applying to other jobs, including retail. I knew I needed something more then the Rec Center's had to offer. I applied to Lawton's as I have worked at a different location years ago and liked it (except for my asst manager). I wasn't thrilled about going back to retail but I needed something more secure. I quickly was offered and accepted the position at Lawtons on Larry Uteck and made the difficult decision to leave the Gordon Snow Rec Centre. I had been there for a bit over 7 years and always said I'd never leave because I loved the clients I dealt with. Through Covid I realized those friendships who meant the most to me I was already keeping in contact with through email. facebook etc. I have worked at Lawtons now since the middle of Aug and I LOVE it! I could not ask for a better work family! Everyone always says "oh, it's a great place to work" until you get in and then you find out the truth. I can't really think of anything I don't like about it. I am still at the Captain Spry Rec Center and although it's what I like doing as well I don't really have a bond with anyone as most client's come in and do their own thing and leave. If Covid ever frigs off I want to start my own personal training and bootcamps again. I just don't feel comfortable going into people's homes yet and can't afford to rent spaces for bootcamps to have them cancelled again. I do miss working 1 on 1 with people, helping them reach goals they never thought possible! That's a snapshot of my past year so what do I hope 2022 has in store for me.... well...I hope to start taking better care of myself, physically and mentally. I need to start working out again as it was/is a great stress release for me and something I always enjoyed! I need to feel that powerful feeling again. I let it slip away since Covid. Not an excuse, just the truth. Want to start wearing makeup every day. Used to at the office then got away from it. I know it's not a huge deal but it makes me feel pretty and damn it, I deserve to feel pretty. lol I plan to stop procrasting as I have learned I spend WAY too much time thinking about doing things when it would be much quicker to just do them. I hope to blog once a week and work on making something of my Youtube Channel. I have been advised by someone else who has a pretty well followed youtube channel to not make it only fitness related but to make it about anything and everything. That way people get to know me as a person and not just another fitness trainer. I am looking forward to spending more time with our grandkids. I enjoy watching Payton turn into a beautiful young woman and I enjoy watching Dori grow into an amazing little boy! Can you tell these two, especially, have me wrapped around their fingers? lol I'm also hoping Jazzy will come spend weekends with us too. We could get into a lot of "trouble" altogether. :) Man, I LOVE these kids! If I have learned anything over the last yaer or two it's to never take anything for granted. Things can change in a heartbeat. Never assume people will always be with you as I found out how quickly that could change on that Friday afternoon when Frank called me saying "they'd been hit" and seeing just how "hit" they really were. And finally, to ALWAYS chose your words wisely. One would never want the word hate to be the last one spoken to a loved one, we never know when your words will be the last! Plus, hate is a nasty word anyway!! I do hope you will all join me on the crazy ride that 2022 has in store for us! Good, bad or ugly, let's all get through it together. Stay safe this New Year's Eve and please don't drink and drive!!

I am so HAPPYY!!!!

Just a short shout out to Terri to say thank you so much for helping me get access to my Future Fast Chick Blog! I have been doing this blog off and on for quite a few years and although it's not a lot it's a part of me that I wasn't totally ready to let go of. After 2.5 hours of her helping me with this and cleaning up some other things I had on the go (some I didn't even realize I had) I think I am good to go! So,from this point on I will be blogging about fitness, life and everything else in between. :) Once I get my youtube stuff all moved over into the proper channel (about 50% there) I will be active on there as well, and I know you are all dying to follow me! Lots of cool things coming up to chat about so I hope you'll all stick around and enjoy the ride!!

Crazy world right now - This is such a crazy time in our world! A world of constantly changing rules, not knowing what comes next and when the next change may come. We were doing pretty good as a province but now that the second wave has hit our numbers have increased. My job has been closed for 2 weeks and after that the government will decide what to do next. I understand that businesses and people need to get back to normal but this is not normal for everyone. My training is to help people with weights, personal training, and supporting people who are looking to make positive changes when they feel it's not possible. To give them a kick in the ass when they need it. I can't do this when I'm not in the fitness centre. Instead, I'm taking down pickleball nets or cleaning after a fitness class that is nowhere near the weight room, or answering the phone at the front desk or cleaning toys from the preschool class. I also don't feel comfortable using and mixing the sanitizer for the gym. What will happen if i add too much cleaner, spill it on my hands, clothes, or get some in my eyes because it splashed up over the of the bottle as I'm pouring it in? Plus, what if they determine later that I could get sick from cleaning up someone's sweat from the machines or the floor...then what...? So many questions and unfortunately other then wear a mask, was your hands, social distance, and use sanitizer there are no real answers. When the cases are lower we all stand a better chance of being able to escape this nasty creature that has taken over the world as we know it. I so wish we could go back to our "normal" life. For me that was working almost 50 hours a week, being exhausted, but loving what I'm doing and feeling like I'm making a difference to at least someone!

Running....does is get any easier?

So another month of training is under my belt.  I ran a total of 80 km's for the month of April.  That may not sound like a lot to some people but in March I ran a total of 70km's so I am increasing that's for sure.  This month I'll be running 120km so that will be a huge increase.  Should be fun! LOL

While I am out running I have lots of time to think and try to silence the nagging things that go on in my head.  I'd say voices but then you'd think I was crazy. lol You see, when I used to run before it was much easier for me.  I was much lighter, and didn't have arthritis in my hips and knees and I was younger as well.  I am a very big believer, for myself, that I have to better my time or at least stay the same as my last run or I feel like I'm not advancing.  When I say it out loud I know it's crazy and I would never make my clients feel this way. I'd tell them it's all about getting off the couch and doing what many people won't/can't do. The time is not important and to focus on the fact you are actually doing it.  When I get inside my head all this "common sense" talk goes away but it is getting slightly better on many of my runs.  I'm trying to focus on putting each foot forward and the km's and time will take care of itself.  

I'm also a big person for routine as has been pointed out to me many times.  Sometimes routines have to be broken and it throws things off for me.  Last week, my last 10k had to be run on not only on a different day but a different time as well.  Oh no, this wasn't going to go well for me.  I played mind games with myself the whole morning.  My two clients that I had that morning gave me a taste of my own medicine saying "you'd tell us to suck it up and to just do it" so I did exactly that.  I already had all the excuses in my head as to why it was going to suck but I would do it anyway.  My first km in my legs hurt, my hip hurt and how the hell would I finish a 10k if I was already hurting.  Hmmm....maybe I would push through to a 5k and be done with it.  I introduced a few hills the week before and as all these things are going through my head I realized I was on my second hill and I wasn't dying.  But wait, where did the first hill go, I don't remember running it. But, since I had to do one to get to the other I clearly did it. lol Ok, I just may have this!  Maybe this run won't be the one that kills me. I continued on as usual.  However, I forced myself to lean a bit forward (which is unnatural for me) and to look up every now and then.  When I did this I could feel my body moving forward slightly faster and with a little more ease.  My God, I may be on to something here.  I tried to focus on this for the rest of my run and it must have worked, I finished my run almost 2 mins faster  then any of my other 10k runs since I started last month.  I did encounter a bit of wind and for the    most part it wasn't a big problem but at one point late in the run I must have been tired,  I did turn the corner and was met with the same wind that greeted me at least 3 other times and I yelled out "fuck" in frustration.  As soon as I did it I started to laugh and looked around to see if anyone was near me and thank God there wasn't.  So nobody thought I was some strange mad women who should be committed, just little ol' me with something to keep me smiling through the rest of the run.  I must say by keeping my head up I got to see more dogs and there was one specific lab retriever who kept nudging my hand with his/her nose every time I ran by which in some strange way gave me motivation.  It was a pretty good run that I was happy with.

On Wed or Thursday I start with my 12k's runs and they scare me a bit, knowing how hard 10k's were. 12k runs are not something I did on a normal basis even when I ran before. If I remember correctly it was a 5k, a longer run, and a trip to the track as well.  But I was scared for the 10k too and I did them.  I'm assuming my body will hurt a bit more and recovery time may take a bit longer but that's ok.  I'm normally pretty sore the night of the long run and then not too bad the next day so we'll see what happens this week.  Adding the extra k on to my shorter runs may cause for a bit more hurt.

This upcoming month is also race day for me.  I haven't registered for the 10k in the Bluenose yet but I'm pretty sure, as long as nothing happens, I will be registering shortly.  I think putting the fear of this race behind me will help.  The last time I ran this race I was injured and it was tougher then tough for me. Going across the bridge makes for a beautiful run though (once you are at the top of the bridge...lol) I'm hoping for no injuries this time and a huge difference will be this time I'll have Frank at the finish line waiting for me, and knowing that will and does make all the difference. Hey, I may even have Payton there as well!! :)

So, here's to my new training schedule of 6k,6k, and 12k's every week for the month.  Fun times for sure!!

Becoming a runner again!

Running was something I enjoyed when I did it a few years ago, actually about 4-5 years ago.  I can't believe it has been that long!  I didn't realize until now how much I missed it.  I also didn't realize how hard it would be to build up my distance again.  I did a few races but kind of "winged" them, not really properly training or taking them seriously.

I have always loved the feeling of running across a finish line and since I won't be doing my Mount Washington bike race this Summer I decided I needed to do something.  I have decided to run in a few upcoming races, and am toying with the idea of a 5k in April, 10k in May and possibly a 21k in Oct. It is going to take a lot of hard work and a huge commitment to training but I finally feel like I'm ready.

I have arthritis in both my hips and my knees so I could very easily sit on the sideline and watch life pass me by, giving up on the things I really enjoy, but if I'm going to hurt either way I may as well do the stuff I enjoy and find a way to deal with any pain that it causes.  At least the mental side of me, as a person, will be somewhat content.  And I have a husband to rub my legs after each race! Hey, he's really good at taking care of me when I hurt. :)

Right now my run is nowhere near where it was. I used to do a 5k in about 26:30 and now it takes me almost 35-40 mins and it took me 1:15 mins to do my 8k yesterday. We all have to start somewhere though right?  I'm not the same person I was back then, I weigh more (something else I'm working on and the running should certainly help with that), have more stresses in life and my schedule isn't as fixed as it was before.  Having my own personal training clients means I have to pretty much go when they are free. But hey, that' s a life I have chosen and I love it!  Anyway, back to running....I almost feel like I'm learning things all over again.  I have to realize that it will take a while to get to where I was before.  I couldn't do it right away then and this time will be no different.  I have a running calendar which allows me to write my successes in it each day/week so it makes me feel really good when I can see that I met my goal for the week and it seems with each run (on the treadmill) I can see some improvements.  I also have a few supportive fellow runners who are offering some great support. Support can make a huge difference too.  I know in time I can get my distance and time back to where I want them to be but I have to be patient (not my strongest trait) and know that my hard work and determination will show through as I get closer to killing those goals.

My plan right now is to run 2 4km runs through the week and an 8km run sometime through the week as well. I will be following this program for a month. Hopefully now that the nice weather is coming more of my runs can be done outside.  That way when I'm at work in the gym I can concentrate on weight training and making my body stronger.  After March is over the plan is to increase my short runs by 1k, making them 5km, and increasing my long runs by2 kms, making it a 10k run. That will give me another month of 5 and 10k runs before the 10k race in May.  The only other 10k race I did was at the same race, The Bluenose so it would be nice if that was my 10k race again.  I remember that race, I was injured and taped up enough to get me through.  Man, I hurt but I pushed through. My goal was to finish in 60 mins and I would like to make that my goal again.  When I do my 5k run in April I'd like to finish in 30 mins or less.  Only time will tell if these are reasonable goals or not. At this point I'm just happy to finish each run and to have a concrete plan to run with (no pun intended...lol).

Making of the new me....

Why is setting goals so easy but sticking to them so damn hard?  I've set many over the last few months but haven't been able to stick to them and I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this. I help people set goals everyday and I make sure they work hard to reach to them. Why can't I practice what I preach?  I can say it's because I'm so busy, I don't have time, I'm too tired, I don't know where to start, etc but then the real me gets angry as these are simply one thing, excuses.  Excuses hold you back from your real true goals, your desires and your passions.  You see, I use to be in my top shape about 5 years ago but then something happened, life happened.  One thing turns your world upside down and you lose focus.  Once I recovered from that and got my life back on track emotionally is when things got insanely busy.  I started having uncertainty in my office job, so I decided it was time to make a career change, which meant a year of Eastern College, which was an awesome choice and one i'll never regret.  I was trying to spend time growing a new relationship on top of studying. Plus I was trying to work at the Rec Centre as well.  Life was indeed busy for me at that time.  When I had some down time I just wanted to veg in front of the tv and not be bothered by anyone or anything.  Before I knew it the pounds were starting to creep back.

When you have no time to do anything the last thing most people, my self included, want to do is cook.  Hence, it was easier to go out or grab some quick fix to satisfy my hunger.  Needless to say, these choices weren't always the best ones, hell, most of the time they were the worst choices I could make for my body.  But hey, that food did what I meant for it to do, filled the spot at a time when I was hungry.  Looking back now I wish I could make different choices but sadly if given the chance I don't know if I'd be strong enough or smart enough (in the moment) to make the best choices this time either.

Seeing pictures of myself right now is really tough.  I see the old me, the me before the new and improved me and it breaks my heart. It really does.  I see those pictures and I see someone who is fat again, yes I used the "f" word.  I see the person who feels a bit lost, but this time I also see someone who knows what they have to do to change what they are seeing, someone who knows how to turn those thoughts around, but also someone who has to dig REALLY DEEP to make those changes.  All these things really hit home when looking at my wedding pictures.  Yes, I was a pretty bride and my dress fit nicely and all the positives that go with being the bride but I also see someone who could look better, have less flab on the arms, less back fat, more of a defined face instead of having two chins, and of course a smaller waist size (it's true, wedding dresses fit about 2-3 sizes smaller then our regular clothes and that number all on it's own can be depressing). We are renewing our vows in 10 years on top of the rock pile and although I won't have the big dress, and the halabalu I do want to be able to pick any dress off the rack and go with it, knowing I look killer in it.  And yes, I know a lot can happen in 10 years but it's a goal I will keep tucked away under my hat until then.  Who knows, maybe I'll have my dress resized and be shaped to look exactly as I want it to.

So all that being said, I have some work to do, I know in my head it's a lot of work but I know once I get started on a regular routine I'll love it again.  I really do love working out, getting stronger and seeing results makes me thrive on life.  I know I'll have some pains along the way as I do have arthritis in my hips and knees which is something I never had to deal with when I lost my weight the first time. However, as I start losing more weight the easier the impacts will be on my joints so it's a win win for me. A killer body AND less pain, I like the sounds of both those things.  

My long term goals are to be able to do my bike race next Aug without dying.  The first time I did it I had a very tough time and had 5 paramedics working on me.  I was almost delusional for lack of a better word.  This time I'd like to make it to the summit/finish line but also be able to ride some of it and not walk it while pushing my bike.  Pushing the bike sort of defeats the purpose.  lol  Also, my second goal is to run a half marathon.  I know my body hurts after just 5k which at this point is a chore all on it's own (I used to run a whole 5k in about 27 mins and now it takes 45 mins and I have to split it between running and walking) but I feel with some training I can get back to where I was or close to it. I would like to do another 5k race in April, a 10k race in May, and maybe some in between and that and my bike race in Aug.  Then I'd need to take a bit of a break and refocus on running again in Sept for the race in Oct.  In my head that all sounds like a great plan.  If I start now the training shouldn't be too intense and I can work into the running gradually, like I'm a brand new runner, which is how I feel right now.

The short term goal I have is to lose 15 pounds between now and Christmas (and 75.2 between now and Aug).  I don't think that's too unreasonable once I get on track.  I have 10 weeks between now and the week of Christmas which boils down to 1.5 pounds a week.  I can do that if I put my mind to it.  I have done this before!  I know some weeks will be better than others but I will allow for that.  The first thing I have to do to make this possible is CUT OUT THE COKE!! That was the toughest thing I did the first time and it will be the hardest thing this time too.  I also have to stop eating out multiple times a week.  I have decided that once a week is good, a nice treat.  Even when I did this the first time I was a firm believer that you need to keep having some treats along the way or you'd never stick to the new eating habits. By not having the treats every day they taste better and are more of a real treat instead of normal everyday food when you do have them.  I have already cut down on eating in the evening.  Because I have cut down on this, even on the weekends, when I do feel the need for a snack I have it.  It just doesn't happen very often any more.

So there you have it.  A trainers commitment to improving herself along with some of the goals I have set and some of the ways I WILL reach those goals.  I am not nieve, I know it will take some time, lots of pains and some determination but I know I had these all before so I KNOW I WILL do it again!!  -Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever -