Why is setting goals so easy but sticking to them so damn hard? I've set many over the last few months but haven't been able to stick to them and I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this. I help people set goals everyday and I make sure they work hard to reach to them. Why can't I practice what I preach? I can say it's because I'm so busy, I don't have time, I'm too tired, I don't know where to start, etc but then the real me gets angry as these are simply one thing, excuses. Excuses hold you back from your real true goals, your desires and your passions. You see, I use to be in my top shape about 5 years ago but then something happened, life happened. One thing turns your world upside down and you lose focus. Once I recovered from that and got my life back on track emotionally is when things got insanely busy. I started having uncertainty in my office job, so I decided it was time to make a career change, which meant a year of Eastern College, which was an awesome choice and one i'll never regret. I was trying to spend time growing a new relationship on top of studying. Plus I was trying to work at the Rec Centre as well. Life was indeed busy for me at that time. When I had some down time I just wanted to veg in front of the tv and not be bothered by anyone or anything. Before I knew it the pounds were starting to creep back.
When you have no time to do anything the last thing most people, my self included, want to do is cook. Hence, it was easier to go out or grab some quick fix to satisfy my hunger. Needless to say, these choices weren't always the best ones, hell, most of the time they were the worst choices I could make for my body. But hey, that food did what I meant for it to do, filled the spot at a time when I was hungry. Looking back now I wish I could make different choices but sadly if given the chance I don't know if I'd be strong enough or smart enough (in the moment) to make the best choices this time either.
Seeing pictures of myself right now is really tough. I see the old me, the me before the new and improved me and it breaks my heart. It really does. I see those pictures and I see someone who is fat again, yes I used the "f" word. I see the person who feels a bit lost, but this time I also see someone who knows what they have to do to change what they are seeing, someone who knows how to turn those thoughts around, but also someone who has to dig REALLY DEEP to make those changes. All these things really hit home when looking at my wedding pictures. Yes, I was a pretty bride and my dress fit nicely and all the positives that go with being the bride but I also see someone who could look better, have less flab on the arms, less back fat, more of a defined face instead of having two chins, and of course a smaller waist size (it's true, wedding dresses fit about 2-3 sizes smaller then our regular clothes and that number all on it's own can be depressing). We are renewing our vows in 10 years on top of the rock pile and although I won't have the big dress, and the halabalu I do want to be able to pick any dress off the rack and go with it, knowing I look killer in it. And yes, I know a lot can happen in 10 years but it's a goal I will keep tucked away under my hat until then. Who knows, maybe I'll have my dress resized and be shaped to look exactly as I want it to.
So all that being said, I have some work to do, I know in my head it's a lot of work but I know once I get started on a regular routine I'll love it again. I really do love working out, getting stronger and seeing results makes me thrive on life. I know I'll have some pains along the way as I do have arthritis in my hips and knees which is something I never had to deal with when I lost my weight the first time. However, as I start losing more weight the easier the impacts will be on my joints so it's a win win for me. A killer body AND less pain, I like the sounds of both those things.
My long term goals are to be able to do my bike race next Aug without dying. The first time I did it I had a very tough time and had 5 paramedics working on me. I was almost delusional for lack of a better word. This time I'd like to make it to the summit/finish line but also be able to ride some of it and not walk it while pushing my bike. Pushing the bike sort of defeats the purpose. lol Also, my second goal is to run a half marathon. I know my body hurts after just 5k which at this point is a chore all on it's own (I used to run a whole 5k in about 27 mins and now it takes 45 mins and I have to split it between running and walking) but I feel with some training I can get back to where I was or close to it. I would like to do another 5k race in April, a 10k race in May, and maybe some in between and that and my bike race in Aug. Then I'd need to take a bit of a break and refocus on running again in Sept for the race in Oct. In my head that all sounds like a great plan. If I start now the training shouldn't be too intense and I can work into the running gradually, like I'm a brand new runner, which is how I feel right now.
The short term goal I have is to lose 15 pounds between now and Christmas (and 75.2 between now and Aug). I don't think that's too unreasonable once I get on track. I have 10 weeks between now and the week of Christmas which boils down to 1.5 pounds a week. I can do that if I put my mind to it. I have done this before! I know some weeks will be better than others but I will allow for that. The first thing I have to do to make this possible is CUT OUT THE COKE!! That was the toughest thing I did the first time and it will be the hardest thing this time too. I also have to stop eating out multiple times a week. I have decided that once a week is good, a nice treat. Even when I did this the first time I was a firm believer that you need to keep having some treats along the way or you'd never stick to the new eating habits. By not having the treats every day they taste better and are more of a real treat instead of normal everyday food when you do have them. I have already cut down on eating in the evening. Because I have cut down on this, even on the weekends, when I do feel the need for a snack I have it. It just doesn't happen very often any more.
So there you have it. A trainers commitment to improving herself along with some of the goals I have set and some of the ways I WILL reach those goals. I am not nieve, I know it will take some time, lots of pains and some determination but I know I had these all before so I KNOW I WILL do it again!! -Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever -
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